*** Initializing analytics system.
*** Initializing health check sub-system.
*** Booting health check sensors.
*** Running physical health checks.
[Warning] Optical subsystem initialized with errors:
[Error] Focal systems out of optimal range.
*** Running psychological health checks.
[Error] Corrupt system file: human-to-human-communication.dylib
[Warning] H2H protocol daemon is reporting malformed I/O.
*** Running humor health checks.
[Error] Syntax error in humor.conf.
*** Running spiritual health checks.
[Error] Spirit is corrupt or missing, attempting to use system default.
[Error] Default system spirit is missing.
[Error] No usable spirit found, system entering zombie mode.
*** Finalizing health checks.
*** System status: CRITICAL
*** Status summary: Visually impaired anti-social Zombie with
                    corrupt sense of humor.

This was originally a response I wrote to some chick I don't know who messaged me out of the blue asking "how are you?". After sending it, I thought it was funny enough to post here... lol